Have you ever eaten something that you “weren’t allowed” to eat, maybe something like chocolate or a biscuit or pastry? Food that you have labelled as “bad” or “junk” and you have a rule for yourself that it must be avoided to achieve your goal. You have thoughts of being weak or lacking in will power and a feeling of failure.
“Stuff it” you say to yourself “I’ve ****ed up so I might as well keep eating – I’ll get back on track on Monday.” If this scenario is familiar to you then you have personally experienced the Abstinence Violation Effect or AVE.
Many of us can identify with the AVE – it’s a very common pattern of thoughts and feelings. And it doesn’t have to be about eating - it can be triggered with any behavior that we are trying to change such as drinking less (I’ve had one glass so I might as well finish the bottle) or exercising more (I’ve missed my walk today so there’s no point in going tomorrow either… I’ll get back into it next week…maybe).
So now that you know about the AVE what can you do to counteract it?
The first thing you can do is to learn to identify when it happens. The AVE is driven by negative thoughts and feelings (such as failure and guilt) and eating can be a response to these negative events. Ask yourself “what thoughts do I notice and how do I feel?”
Once you can identify your thoughts and feelings there are 3 steps to follow:
1. Tell yourself that it is very normal to slip up from time to time – you are only human after all. Remind yourself that changing the way you eat Is a process and that it does take time.
2. This next step is important. Tell yourself that you can get back on track straight away, you are not weak, you can do this. By doing this you will feel a sense of being capable and will learn that you can overcome the AVE. This step is thinking about the long term rather than the immediate satisfaction.
3. Next review what had happened just before the AVE was triggered. Had you just had an argument with your partner? Were you walking down the chocolate aisle at the supermarket after skipping lunch? Had you been restricting treat foods and as a result couldn’t get the thought of it out of your head. If you know what situations make it more likely to occur then you can plan how best to avoid it in the future.
Interestingly, research into the AVE shows that people who have a chance to practice positive behaviors after a slip up end up having better coping skills than those who have not had this practice. You could say that a slip up is a great opportunity to strengthen your skills.
Just knowing about the AVE can be enough to help you make good choices most of the time. A slip up is a learning opportunity that sometimes you will be proud of how you responded and at other times you may look back and think “That could have gone better.”
But remember, nobody gets it right all the time so be kind to yourself and let yourself move on.
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